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How long does it usually take a man to feel he is ready for a commitment after being widowed?
I’m so afraid that after the honeymoon stage of our relationship is over, he might have the urge to play.
Whenever I receive correspondence that opens with words similar to these, “I met a widower…,” I can usually predict the gist of the contents.
Such is the case with Fran, 66, a widow of three years.
He will realize that when he looks for the clothes in his closet while prepping for his next date.
Sell those items in a garage sale or donate them to charity.
Fran said: “We have spoken on the telephone three times since June 2. Whether it’s guilt or he wants to end the relationship, I can’t say. She had previously promised him a birthday lobster dinner and told him the offer was still open. He left behind a change of clothing, hedge trimmers and a tree trimmer.
Upbeat conversations; however, no mention of getting together. Your companionship got him through the foggy period. “He said he didn’t want me to spend all that money and that I didn’t have to do it. I thought a few months from now I would drop a note or call and remind him they are here, no?
Save the lobster dinner for someone who will appreciate it.
“No need to remind him that the clothing and hedge and tree trimmers are at your house.
From a man’s point of view, is this guilt and grief again, or do you feel he just wants to end the relationship? A few times he joked about moving in together (early in the relationship).” I responded: “I am not a widower, so I am not an expert. I told him I wanted to and to just pick a date and let me know. To learn the male point of view about widower dating, Fran said she read John Gray’s book “Mars and Venus: Starting Over” (Amazon.com) and my e-book “Widower Dating: Gold Mine or Mine Field? “Does a call once every six weeks to say, ‘Hi, how’s it going? ” My reply: “It’s unfortunate you became so deeply involved with an emotionally unavailable man. You have no choice but to get on with your life; do not quietly wait for him and do not contact him.
“If it’s guilt, do I quietly wait for him to make the next move and go on with my life? You already gave him a year and a half of your life.