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Good dating profiles for men
The obvious points of picking photos are to make them (1) flattering, and (2) accurate.
That photo where your skin looks all glowy and you can’t see your cankles? But the photo from 6 years, 25 pounds and two high-stress jobs ago?
You can sort through five or more supposedly "highly qualified leads" -- in some cases daily. If you: Put up recent pictures up that show your eyes (and not your lavatory); Put thought into your profile; Message me directly with something thoughtful; Get my number, and Ask me out ..you're proving you're not afraid to take the lead.
The question is, whose definition of highly qualified are we talking about? You're demonstrating that you know how to do this whole taking-care-of-a-woman thing from the start.
Stop taking half-naked photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror. And seeing a toilet, dirty shower, and you standing in a 4' x 6' box is mos def not a turn on. Your profile should not have a disclaimer about what you don't want.
Now, if you're laid out in a hot tub in a beautiful bathroom with a view of the ocean behind it, that's a different story. For goodness sake, what kind of lazy introduction is that? Taking pix of yourself on the way to being drunk off your ass is not inspiring. You might be God's gift to the party girl, but how are you with a real woman, outside the bar? Do you really want to see all the men I've been with before? If you find yourself listing the faults of all your exes, get counseling or coaching. And chances are, you've been the source of all that drama you claim you don't want. Please have photos that were taken at least within the past year or two.
Look, we do want to see your hot bod, but get a friend to take a few pix at the gym or a sporting event. We really don't want to think about what went on in there before or after you took the picture. Write more than a paragraph if you actually want a date. But if you check the box "wants a relationship" and then don't take the time and effort to write a decent profile, the message we receive is: "I'm looking for a hookup" and "I use love to get sex." Actually, that last part is giving you too much credit -- it would require self-awareness. Sure, it works at a party; we're face-to-face, making eye contact. Take off your sunglasses and let us see the real you. We're not in college anymore and this isn't a frat. Stop putting up pix of you with the gaggle of girls you were hanging out with during your drunken escapades. Hey, let's face it: You're the consistent factor in all your relationships. There's nothing worse than showing up and discovering that I can't even recognize you in the restaurant.
We can feel or not feel the chemistry, and usually go right into a conversation about what's happening where we are. With just "Hi," I have to assume you're disinterested, bored, or simply inarticulate. Don’t be the guy who every girl is like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” Yes, we’ve all been burned while dating, and we all have loooooong lists of things we don’t want in a partner.But turning your dating profile into a laundry list of complaints isn’t going to get you what you want; at best it’s going to make you sound like a whiny baby, and at worst it’s going to make you sound like a huge racist. You sound like a bad Lifetime movie boyfriend, not a reasonably dateable person.As much as some of us hate to admit it, online dating is here to stay. If you ask for my number, make the call and ASK ME OUT. And we're not teenagers who need to hide behind texting until we "feel comfortable" enough to talk. If you don't like to cook, the pictures on your profile shouldn't show you in an apron, holding up an apple pie.Many companies have great success rates for relationships and marriage, and I'm glad technology has the ability to aid some of us in finding true love. I'm on the site to date and/or presumably to find a mate. And if you want a relationship, you shouldn't put your pole-dancing pictures up.Yet true love also still eludes many of us involved in online dating. If we were out in the real world, you'd ask (I hope). Not because women who pole dance aren't marriage-minded, but because like it or not, we all have some social norms and stereotypes to which we ascribe.One of the biggest advantages these sites supposedly offer is volume. Just because we're online doesn't mean the rules are different. (Like the fact that most men probably don't want to marry a woman whose pole-dancing pix are all over Zoosk). I'm going to make assumptions about your manhood (so to speak) from everything you do (or don't) do online. Online dating is like advertising: Know your ideal audience and target them by positioning yourself to be as appealing as possible.Keep your product’s major flaws out of the commercial.Certainly not mine, and according to the women in my circles, not theirs either. It's not so much that the gentlemen themselves aren't high quality (though some aren't) -- it's the marketing. I can't wait to meet you and suck those big a-- tit-s you got." ICK!