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Dating different people once

Making a decision about a guy is no different than any other decision.

You weigh your pros and cons, you do your cost-benefit analysis, you use a little logic and a little emotion, and then make a largely arbitrary choice without knowing if you’re right.

I recall one time that I was dating two women simultaneously for about a month. My ambivalence was a feeling, more than a logical choice. You may not know the front-runner for the open position of “boyfriend”, but since you’re the CEO of Maggie, Inc, you’re going to take your sweet time to see how the interns perform in a limited capacity. In general, I think this is the best policy, because it’s a clear dividing line that any man can understand.

This is a somewhat complicated (but typical) example of how dating works. And neither party is under any obligation until both parties agree to commit to each other. Let’s say Bachelor #1 turns out to be a great guy…who admits after a month that he never wants to get married or have kids. Yes, I’m being a little tongue and cheek here – success in any arena should be celebrated, not resented – but I really don’t think you understand the average person’s dating experience.

There comes a time in everybody’s dating career when your dance card suddenly becomes fuller than you know what to do with.

Practicing Honest Communication Determining What You Want Maintaining Boundaries and Commitments Community Q&A Not everyone is ready to settle down with one partner.

Some people choose to have multiple relationships at once for their whole lives.

Many people may not see this as being a true problem.

But I don’t know how much to say to these men, or not say because it’s so early in the relationship.And while I was hooking up with (not sleeping with) both of them, something didn’t feel right. One woman even called me on it – “How dare you get online after our great date? It was my right to look for other women if I didn’t feel I could commit to her. You’ve never heard of a woman standing on the altar with two men, have you? ” Only you can determine whether you can have sex with two guys simultaneously without a commitment to either of them. Either you will get attached or THEY will get attached – and since you haven’t figured out your feelings yet, I would think that attachment is something you’d want to avoid.Just as it’s her right to keep her options open until she finds a boyfriend-worthy man. I predict that by the time you read this, Maggie, everything will have sorted itself out.The good news: because of the broad scope of the question, every reader who is interested in deciding between two men can use this advice.The bad news: without more specific details, I’m not sure you can.As it turns out, I met a third woman, who was so incredible that I immediately emailed the other two, broke things off, and took my profile down to commit. Let’s say Bachelor #2 turns out to be a great guy…who admits after two months that although he was excited about you, he’s on the rebound, not emotionally over his ex-girlfriend and is not fit to be your partner at this point in time. So please come back and let us know if I retroactively steered you in the right direction, okay? Everywhere you went you just magically kept finding great women who were into you and wanted to date you!Naturally, it took the third woman about two weeks to feel comfortable committing to me, but she eventually did. Yes, you’re dating two men, but that doesn’t mean that these are the only two men on the planet. You had the leisure of committing to someone before they committed to you because you always just assumed that so many women wanted to be with you that you could always get what you wanted.If you're thinking of dating multiple women at once, it can be done.However, you'll need to behave honestly and ethically to make it work.One day, you’re swiping sullenly through Tinder bemoaning the lack of attractive, normal-seeming men that are possibly as tall as they say they are in their profiles, and the next, you find yourself drafting a spreadsheet to keep track of the nine dates that you have somehow booked for one week. Like all things in life, your dating life will ebb and flow.Years of Sahara-like drought will give way to a summer full of eternal possibility, teeming with tapas dates and dinner dates and beach dates galore.

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